This was surprisingly awesome! Had a good Arfenhouse feel to it. I thought the poop thing was a bit crude though, but believe me when I say it when uphill from there. All those other dolts wouldn't know a good SLAPSTICK comedy (Slapstick: 40% Random, 60% Kickass)when they see one. Although I did find a complete and utter lack of noodles, strangely enough.
Oh yeah. I love how you respond to all of the negative reviews. It pretty much narrows down to the two types of bad reviewers: 1.) The kind who obviously flunked at grade 6, or 2.) The oh-so "professional" graders that try as hard as they can to sound intellegent, but then end up blowing it out their ass by putting in some lame comment around the end (Excuse while I vomite?
The hell??)
You do seem to have a good attitude for all this NG stuff, and you put an old sock in the mouths of those who, for some reason, expect Shakespeare when they see something catigorized as a SPOOF. You have a bright future ahead of you here.
PS: This is your first submission, and it is very good anyways, but for a first it is... um... great. Just work on the art a LITTLE bit, because at some points it does look a little half-assed, but not alot.
OK. Everyone here can agree with me. This Flash movie has one of the best, if not THE best, scores off all time here at NG... at the time of this review, it was a stunning 4.75, a mere .25 points away from becoming a 5 across the charts.
And the score still pisses me off.
This deserves a 5. No less. Not even a fraction.
Nothing was wrong with this Flash. AT ALL. A perfect Flash usually means a perfect score, but this is obvioulsy not the case.
For you knobs that don't appreciate this and give this anything below an 8 (yes, an 8... this is that damn good), do the world a favor and go get bent somewhere, because it is quite obvious that you wouldn't know talent if it happened to be peeing in the very same lake that you are drinking out of.
And to the authors: Let it be known that you have instantaneously made your self a legend amongst Flash artists around the world. I feel pround to be grading this (and I'm also proud to say that I am one of the few folks that graded it with proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, because any less to this movie is sacralidge), and you should be proud that you made it. I see nothing but good things happening in NG in the future, and you my friends are amongst them.
Well, it was drawn fairly well, but there wasn't enything in there that kwpt me going after level 1... and the music could be compared to suicide.... ugh. Room for improvement, but not through a clostrophobic's point of view.
By the way, Paladin, you obviously don't know how to grade at all. First off, you grade the graphics on how they were drawn, not what was drawn. Secondly, from the way you described the style, I figured it would look similar to Hunny Bunny.. which isn't true in any way. The sound, however, I will agree with you on... that was the most repetitive stuff I have ever heard in my life. As for interactivity you, believe it or not, gave it a 0, because it isn't worth playing at all...? Well, the game is repetitive and stuff, but it has everything that a game like this needs: Movement buttons, jump button and an attack button. It may be stripped down, but it works. And finally humor... yeah, I also see what you mean there. There really wasn't anything funny about this at all, seeing how bland everything that was there was.
Still don't agree with me? Let me put it this way: A total and complete 0 is supposed to be reserved for stuff like "Dickelodean," whereas not only it is blatantly obvious that virtually no effort was placed into it, but it was also so mind-bogglingly BAD that you couldn't bring yourself to watch/play it without having a seizure, a heart attack and a hernia all in one.
Sorry about the speach. But for those of you that decided to read this far, here's a random tidbit: The Invincibility Code for DOOM is IDDQD!
"Waaaah. Samus is tough, and since I am mentally unequipped to beat her, I'll deduct it from the score. Poor me." -_-
Got news for ya folks: This is how hard games were back in the day... not like those "user friendly" games that we have nowadys. Besides, maybe the reason that Samus, the final boss, is so hard is because.. 1. Its Samus. 2. She's the Final Boss. In NES Games, the final boss wasn't just another petty obstical that you just had to find the pattern of movement and/or weakness for five minutes, then exploit it and conquer the oversized bastard. No, back in the DAY, we had impossible bosses that had no visible weakness and required 80% luck to beat.. and we had to walk 15 MILES to get to it... in the snow... with no shoes!!
That said, Samus was pretty easy. ;p
Overall, nice. I beat the G&G one first, seeing as it was on the front page at the time. But now that final space for an extra weapon is itching at my mind... WHAT WILL SHE DO NEXT?!?
If you haven't thought of anything (which you most likely have), I suggest Kid Icarus. I personally might see it as amusing to see Mega Man spurt out little midievil arrows from the futuristic arm blaster he has. But, your Flash, not mine. I'll let the mastermind do the thinking.
Before I begin, let me say I am happy that an author is finally taking advantage of the fact that he gets the last word on those bad reviews that just say shit like, "U SUK U PATNY ASSHLOE!!11!! LOLOOLO!!" -_- I'm going to say that I didn't particularly like this movie, though.
First off, the pros. I like what you did with the sprites. Most idiots would just show the picture of Samus slamming into another sprite, until the sprite eventually blows up or gets vut in half with a big, red circle separating the halves.
Now for the cons. While the action sequences were nice, it fell for a complete lack of.. point. Why were Samus and Link break dancing? Why did those robots suddenly come out of nowhere? Who knows? Who cares?
Like you said before, this is obviously one of your "Ah, what the hell" Flashes, so I'm not holding it against ya as an artist. But I WILL vote 1 on this piece of work, but I've yet to see your other Flashes, so. Speaking of which, I'd better be off to do that now. Happy Flashing!
After the intro was over, I was going to click the "X" button and blam yeh... but then you dicovered my weak point... Queen. Damn you. Now I'm going to vote a three simply because Queen was in it. You got off lucky, pal... but next time...
:p
Remember, by telling us to not vote zero, it usually means that you KNOW this is bad; the maker of the movie thinking it is bad is never a good thing. When an author tells us not to Blam a movie, it is like a father telling the other children on the school playground not to kick the living piss outta his stupid, ugly son.
Since this is a parody, I'm going to go off on a whim that those are certainly not original graphics.
Tween, tween, tween, tween, tween. Nuff said.
If you wanted the egg to die so bad, why not make a little scene where egg yolk is flying all over the place? Y'know, rather than.. what you did.
I think you were going for the robot voice from the Fulps, but why did you use the voice thing that comes with the computer?? Cheapest ploy ever. Then there's that dude with the glasses... I think he made an appearance as "The Interpreter" on the Conan O'Brian show not too long ago. Or something. This was more of a brainwashing-cult-message than anything else... I, by the by, am completely neutral about strawberry clock: I don't not like it; yet I don't care for the movies. But this, as a movie in general, was horrible.
You should be thankful that this got more than a 2/5 Score on Newgrounds on average. Hell, a 1/5 even. This is bad.
xXFireEmblemPrideXx
All 39 flash Reviews
Rated 4 / 5 stars September 4, 2004
Well well well.
This was surprisingly awesome! Had a good Arfenhouse feel to it. I thought the poop thing was a bit crude though, but believe me when I say it when uphill from there. All those other dolts wouldn't know a good SLAPSTICK comedy (Slapstick: 40% Random, 60% Kickass)when they see one. Although I did find a complete and utter lack of noodles, strangely enough.
Oh yeah. I love how you respond to all of the negative reviews. It pretty much narrows down to the two types of bad reviewers: 1.) The kind who obviously flunked at grade 6, or 2.) The oh-so "professional" graders that try as hard as they can to sound intellegent, but then end up blowing it out their ass by putting in some lame comment around the end (Excuse while I vomite?
The hell??)
You do seem to have a good attitude for all this NG stuff, and you put an old sock in the mouths of those who, for some reason, expect Shakespeare when they see something catigorized as a SPOOF. You have a bright future ahead of you here.
PS: This is your first submission, and it is very good anyways, but for a first it is... um... great. Just work on the art a LITTLE bit, because at some points it does look a little half-assed, but not alot.
Emblem out.
All those reasons you stated are probably why I find most of the bad reviews funny. =)
Oh and I have to admit I rushed some of the backgrounds and minor stuff. Thanks for the review.
Rated 5 / 5 stars August 27, 2004
And in the end...
OK. Everyone here can agree with me. This Flash movie has one of the best, if not THE best, scores off all time here at NG... at the time of this review, it was a stunning 4.75, a mere .25 points away from becoming a 5 across the charts.
And the score still pisses me off.
This deserves a 5. No less. Not even a fraction.
Nothing was wrong with this Flash. AT ALL. A perfect Flash usually means a perfect score, but this is obvioulsy not the case.
For you knobs that don't appreciate this and give this anything below an 8 (yes, an 8... this is that damn good), do the world a favor and go get bent somewhere, because it is quite obvious that you wouldn't know talent if it happened to be peeing in the very same lake that you are drinking out of.
And to the authors: Let it be known that you have instantaneously made your self a legend amongst Flash artists around the world. I feel pround to be grading this (and I'm also proud to say that I am one of the few folks that graded it with proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, because any less to this movie is sacralidge), and you should be proud that you made it. I see nothing but good things happening in NG in the future, and you my friends are amongst them.
Bravo.
Rated 2.5 / 5 stars August 26, 2004
OK, but not intersesting.
Well, it was drawn fairly well, but there wasn't enything in there that kwpt me going after level 1... and the music could be compared to suicide.... ugh. Room for improvement, but not through a clostrophobic's point of view.
By the way, Paladin, you obviously don't know how to grade at all. First off, you grade the graphics on how they were drawn, not what was drawn. Secondly, from the way you described the style, I figured it would look similar to Hunny Bunny.. which isn't true in any way. The sound, however, I will agree with you on... that was the most repetitive stuff I have ever heard in my life. As for interactivity you, believe it or not, gave it a 0, because it isn't worth playing at all...? Well, the game is repetitive and stuff, but it has everything that a game like this needs: Movement buttons, jump button and an attack button. It may be stripped down, but it works. And finally humor... yeah, I also see what you mean there. There really wasn't anything funny about this at all, seeing how bland everything that was there was.
Still don't agree with me? Let me put it this way: A total and complete 0 is supposed to be reserved for stuff like "Dickelodean," whereas not only it is blatantly obvious that virtually no effort was placed into it, but it was also so mind-bogglingly BAD that you couldn't bring yourself to watch/play it without having a seizure, a heart attack and a hernia all in one.
Sorry about the speach. But for those of you that decided to read this far, here's a random tidbit: The Invincibility Code for DOOM is IDDQD!
Rated 4.5 / 5 stars August 26, 2004
You youngsters don't know how easy you have it.
"Waaaah. Samus is tough, and since I am mentally unequipped to beat her, I'll deduct it from the score. Poor me." -_-
Got news for ya folks: This is how hard games were back in the day... not like those "user friendly" games that we have nowadys. Besides, maybe the reason that Samus, the final boss, is so hard is because.. 1. Its Samus. 2. She's the Final Boss. In NES Games, the final boss wasn't just another petty obstical that you just had to find the pattern of movement and/or weakness for five minutes, then exploit it and conquer the oversized bastard. No, back in the DAY, we had impossible bosses that had no visible weakness and required 80% luck to beat.. and we had to walk 15 MILES to get to it... in the snow... with no shoes!!
That said, Samus was pretty easy. ;p
Overall, nice. I beat the G&G one first, seeing as it was on the front page at the time. But now that final space for an extra weapon is itching at my mind... WHAT WILL SHE DO NEXT?!?
If you haven't thought of anything (which you most likely have), I suggest Kid Icarus. I personally might see it as amusing to see Mega Man spurt out little midievil arrows from the futuristic arm blaster he has. But, your Flash, not mine. I'll let the mastermind do the thinking.
Can't wait for the third one.
Rated 2 / 5 stars August 6, 2004
Hey, look, another stick movie.
This would be loads better if:
It wasn't stickimation.
It had a background or story to it.
Camera angles.
More fights.
Good potential though.
Rated 3 / 5 stars August 6, 2004
Pretty nice.
Just another stick movie though. But I did like how the main stick climbed... reminded me of a monkey.. :p Not a bad start.
Rated 3 / 5 stars August 6, 2004
Mixed feelings...
Before I begin, let me say I am happy that an author is finally taking advantage of the fact that he gets the last word on those bad reviews that just say shit like, "U SUK U PATNY ASSHLOE!!11!! LOLOOLO!!" -_- I'm going to say that I didn't particularly like this movie, though.
First off, the pros. I like what you did with the sprites. Most idiots would just show the picture of Samus slamming into another sprite, until the sprite eventually blows up or gets vut in half with a big, red circle separating the halves.
Now for the cons. While the action sequences were nice, it fell for a complete lack of.. point. Why were Samus and Link break dancing? Why did those robots suddenly come out of nowhere? Who knows? Who cares?
Like you said before, this is obviously one of your "Ah, what the hell" Flashes, so I'm not holding it against ya as an artist. But I WILL vote 1 on this piece of work, but I've yet to see your other Flashes, so. Speaking of which, I'd better be off to do that now. Happy Flashing!
hahahaah, sweet, see now if we could get more people like this to review movies, i wouldnt have to think of witty comebacks. gj 1337 haxor pwnz me.
Rated 2 / 5 stars August 6, 2004
WELL.....
After the intro was over, I was going to click the "X" button and blam yeh... but then you dicovered my weak point... Queen. Damn you. Now I'm going to vote a three simply because Queen was in it. You got off lucky, pal... but next time...
:p
Rated 2 / 5 stars August 6, 2004
Um, Okeydokey.
Remember, by telling us to not vote zero, it usually means that you KNOW this is bad; the maker of the movie thinking it is bad is never a good thing. When an author tells us not to Blam a movie, it is like a father telling the other children on the school playground not to kick the living piss outta his stupid, ugly son.
Since this is a parody, I'm going to go off on a whim that those are certainly not original graphics.
Tween, tween, tween, tween, tween. Nuff said.
If you wanted the egg to die so bad, why not make a little scene where egg yolk is flying all over the place? Y'know, rather than.. what you did.
Has room for improvement, but not much.
Rated 1.5 / 5 stars August 6, 2004
Bad. Just... bad.
I think you were going for the robot voice from the Fulps, but why did you use the voice thing that comes with the computer?? Cheapest ploy ever. Then there's that dude with the glasses... I think he made an appearance as "The Interpreter" on the Conan O'Brian show not too long ago. Or something. This was more of a brainwashing-cult-message than anything else... I, by the by, am completely neutral about strawberry clock: I don't not like it; yet I don't care for the movies. But this, as a movie in general, was horrible.
You should be thankful that this got more than a 2/5 Score on Newgrounds on average. Hell, a 1/5 even. This is bad.